So yesterday, after receiving the news of my grandmothers death--I was still processing exactly how I was feeling, when I realized it was time for my wonderful children to come bounding through the door--home from school, and ready for snacks and help with homework and piano and ready to tell me the stories of their day! I just was not quite ready to be "mom"--so as the kids walked in, I walked out and told them I would be in the backyard raking leaves--they could find a treat, and I would be in soon!! I put my I-pod on to some of my favorite Hillary Weeks music, grabbed a rake, and entered my own little world. The music reminded me of my faith, and being outside in the cool fall air renewed my spirit!! I was delighted to be raking up so many leaves--delighted that my trees are getting big enough to shed leaves!!! I thought of my grandma, my grandpa, my grandma Smith, mom and dad Forsyth, my own earthly father, and my Heavenly Father--I shed tears as I raked, but the more I raked the better I felt and for some reason being outside was so delightful to me I stayed even after the raking was done. I felt the wind blow through my hair and watched the pile of leaves I had raked begin to blow away! I pondered the "give" and "take" in life. Now I was ready to go in and be "mom".
Later that night,while making a yummy dinner for my family, I was talking to my mom. I asked her how dad was doing. She proceeded to tell me that not long after grandma died he told mom he needed to go walk in the woods. Mom asked if he was going to go hunting, and he said no, he did not think he would be able to hunt through his tears. I smiled, as I realized I am more like my dad than I know. He was walking and crying. I was raking and crying--but we both were dealing with our sadness, and somehow being outside made it a little easier. I had to have Zach take a picture, mostly because I was so proud of my pile of leaves, and I want to be able to compare it in the future to what is sure to be mountainous piles of leaves--but now I am especially grateful for the picture because it will forever be a reminder to me of how me and my dad dealt with the sadness of this day.